Thursday, November 19, 2015

Hamming It Up for Thanksgiving

As I write this, I'm fixin' to sit down and eat my first Thanksgiving dinner.

And when I say that, I don't mean it's my first Thankgiving dinner ever, like back in 1621, which is when the first documented Thanksgiving in the New World took place. I mean my first Thanksgiving dinner of the week.

You see, my husband goes a little crazy for the holidays. And by a little crazy, I mean the man goes freaking bonkers. Maybe it's because he grew up in extreme poverty and has become a self-made pretty solid middle class citizen, but Eddie goes a little nuts for the holidays.

OK, to be honest, he goes whole hog nuts. There's no middle ground here. He's totally flipping manic from the first day of November through the last day of December.

It's probably because his birthday falls in the middle of November. Every day (and believe me, I'm not kidding) at some point he randomly yells, "It's my birthday month!"

It's his excuse for every faux pas, every bad move, every unsavory thing that comes out of his mouth, every temper tantrum he throws. For the whole, entire month. Gaaaaaaaaah.

Lucky me though, my birthday is the following month. And I'm keeping track. If November is his month, December is MINE. If he makes ridiculous demands, comes up with crazy excuses, tries to make me do anything he doesn't want t do because it's his 'birthday month', believe me, I'm keeping notes in my iPhone, and next month, he'll get his.

Oh he'll get his.

And we don't need to go into it now. I'm sure that'll be the topic of a later column, maybe in January, but right now his birthday month is still in full swing, so let me tell you what we've got going on right now.

Eddie has invited his Uncle Kelton down for the celebration. This is a holiday that encompasses the trifecta of his birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas, all packed into one crazy week of food and mayhem. Eddie loves his Uncle Kelton, who is the sweetest, kindest 79-year old in a cowboy hat that you've ever know, and his birthday is also in November. He's a man who still enjoys tinkering with motorbikes, playing with remote controlled cars, and watching American Pickers. (And ladies, he's single, just so ya know.)

Since we only have Kelton for about a week, Eddie is doing his best to consolidate every fall & wintertime food related celebration that he possibly can into his Uncle's visit. And that means every night I come home faced with a brand new feast of comfort food and heartburn. And just so we're clear, the heartburn is all Eddie's. But he's committed to celebrating as many holidays as he can while Kelton is here with us, God bless him.

While I write this, Eddie is pulling a huge ham out of the oven. It's been basted in apple juice, brown sugar, stone ground mustard and honey. The potatoes are boiling. Salad is being tossed. There's two more turkeys in the freezer downstairs and Eddie says he's buying another ham tomorrow, because today is pretend Thanksgiving, and next week we're playing Christmas.

As for me, I'm pulling together a feast of music for you to listen to as you prepare your Thanksgiving (or birthday month) dinners, complete with Ham, Turkey, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Wine and Pies. And it all starts out with all of us holding hands and saying grace. Just click the play arrow below, or check it out on Spotify.

If you're not doing anything next Thursday, get in touch. We'll have enough food to feed an army. And if you're over 65 and single, and you like motorbikes and remote controlled cars or American Pickers, I've got the perfect guy for you!

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