Sunday, August 25, 2013

Time Flies

I have completely run out of time again. How does this happen? It seems like only yesterday I filed my last column, right up against deadline (which is so typical for me, just ask Doni. No, ask Joe Domke. He's 9 hours ahead of me on Prague time, and ends up getting my column when he wakes up Friday mornings, about 5 minutes after I've finally fallen asleep). And now, all of a sudden, here I am again, right up against deadline.

How does time pass so quickly that I find myself completely blindsided again and again every two weeks? You know, maybe there's something to this whole theory of relativity thing after all. And then again, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm big enough to admit that. But hear me out.

Back when I was in college, I took a science class. It was labeled something like "Astronomy 101", so it sounded very cool. Like we'd be looking through telescopes and learning about planets. Turns out, it was actually Physics 101 disguised with an enticing name. Because Physics is kind of daunting and intimidating, even if it was a beginners class. Remember, I'm the gal who flunked Algebra numerous times before the teacher finally pretended I'd earned a passing grade.

I honestly don't remember anything from that class. Well, I remember two things. The first was some advice from my professor, when I tried to drop out after it became really obvious to me that I was not getting anything he was laying down. He said, "I won't let you drop out, not yet. I think you're doing better than you realize. What I think you should do is date that young man sitting over there. He's the one that keeps ruining the curve." It was good advice. We dated for a few weeks, I distracted him enough to bring his grade down at least a notch, I'm pretty sure.

And then there was this one other thing that sunk in from the class. One itsy bitsy teeny tiny little theory, that I may or may not have gotten completely screwed up. It was that thing Einstein came up with. That whole relativity thing. I just remember sitting there one day and suddenly it dawned on me that time really is relative.

Suddenly, as I sat there starting at the clock waiting for class to get over, I remembered what it was like when I was 5, waiting for that horrible hour. That FOR-EVVVVVVVVV-ER hour on Saturday nights. My parents had a black and white tv with 2 channels, and on Saturday nights one channel had Hee-Haw, the other had Lawrence Welk. I wanted to watch something, anything on our brand new first ever TV so badly, but even then at that early age, I had scruples. I had limits. I couldn't bear to watch either of these awful shows that even then seemed to be an insult to my 5 year old  brain. But it was absolute h-e-double hockeysticks waiting until they were over so that I could watch Emergency! with that hunk Randolph Mantooth. It was an hour of pure torture that lasted an eternity. A whole hour.

Actual photo of Albert Einstein
But in college, an hour went by relatively quickly. And now, I could blink and 3 hours have passed. Well, even worse. I just blinked and two weeks went by! How does that happen?
Well, I tell you, time is relative. Just like Einstein said. He did say that, right? I don't have enough time to actually look it up right now, but I'm pretty sure he did. So here's my thoughts on Einstein's theory of relativity:

I realized that for a 2 week old infant, that 2 weeks is its whole life. 1/1 of its existence. Forever. When I was a 21 year old college student, 2 weeks was 1/546 of my life so far. A much smaller amount of time, relatively. But now that I'm 46? 2 weeks is 1/1196th of my life. Such a teensy, tiny, little bit of time. No  wonder. When a 2 week old infant, a 21 year old college student, and a 46 year old procrastinator watch the same lousy 30 second TV commercial, it plays exactly as long in real time for each of us, but how long that commercial seems to be is relative to how long each of us has been sucking air on this planet. Does that make sense? Or am I as crazy as my family keeps telling me? Or should I give up my day job and start teaching high school physics right away?

Not an actual photo of Albert Einstein.
But aren't you impressed by the likeness?
So. All that to say that I have just plum run out of time. I hope I spelled everything correctly, because I don't even have time to go back and proof read what I just wrote. But still, I had time to wax on about Einstein, had time to find that hilarious photo of my daughter dressed up as Einstein for a school project back in 7th grade, and somehow I found the time to put together the biggest playlist ever. I guess time still flies when you're having fun! Today's playlist is filled with 40 of the best songs ever written about time. It's a hefty one, hope you've got the time to listen to it!

Click here to listen to today's streaming playlist directly from the source at Grooveshark, or click on the play arrow in the box below.
  TIme Flies by Valerie Ing-Miller on Grooveshark

  1. Time - Pink Floyd
  2. All This Time - One Republic
  3. You Waste Time Like A Grandfather Clock - The Myriad
  4. Time Is On My Side - The Rolling Stones
  5. Time of the Season - The Zombies
  6. Wasting Time - Jack JOhnson
  7. Time & Truth - Cas Haley
  8. Time Tough - Toots & The Maytals
  9. Time of Your Song (Matisyahu
  10. Time's A Wasting - Erykah Badu
  11. Funny How Time Slips Away - Willie Nelson
  12. Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
  13. The Longest Time - Billy Joel
  14. Closing Time - Semi Sonic
  15. Time of Your Life - Green Day
  16. Time Stands Still - The All-American Rejects
  17. Time Is Running Out - Muse
  18. Time Flies - Porcupine Tree
  19. One More Time - Daft Punk
  20. If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
  21. Time Has Told Me - Nick Drake
  22. Five Years Time - Noah & The Whale
  23. Time & Space - Groove Armada
  24. This Is The Last Time - Keane
  25. Time Has Come Today - The Chambers Brothers
  26. Times Like These - Foo Fighters
  27. No Time - The Monkees
  28. Time Won't Let Me - The Outsiders
  29. Not Enough Time - INXS
  30. Time Is Tight - Booker T. & The MG's
  31. No Time - Guess Who
  32. Time - Tesla
  33. Time To Move On - Tom Petty
  34. Run Out Of Time - Genesis
  35. Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking - Snow Patrol
  36. Time In A Bottle - Jim Croce
  37. No Time To Think - Bob Dylan
  38. Time Is Ticking Out - The Cranberries
  39. Too Much Time On My Hands - Styx
  40. Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show Soundtrack

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